the day I was stood still
Once I was happy,the smile was real...But now it's only to pretend I am HAPPY but really not.
Once not everything matters but now every nonsense matters,even the failures were not important for me but now everything matters doesn't matter what it is.I am really in need ,to get my childhood back yet I am so much depressed then to be happy.Once their was someone who could even understand me but now I even don't have my own company or can say I am separated from my self.I wan't to restart my life so that I can overcome that everything that should not be done. "Well it is better to forgot all these things and look forward" is much easy then to do it. Once I was more above average or can say a bright student that have so much potential to do so much things but as the time passes,people changes and their views too,and start judging you differently and same thing happened with me as I had cleared exams of tough competition and failed in some too and that me regret so much and depression starts and you start killing yourself slowly slowly.
It starts with killing of happiness and the thing remains is smile without a reason just to avoid everyone and need your own company.
The day I was stood still was the day when I saw a huge crowd or can say first time to face competition.Yet I was not depressed,but was confident because I know my family is with me,they are with me in every good decision I will take specially in my career but I was wrong that I was not knowing what they wan't from me .At this point our views contradict and they and I stood still.
I have faced so much of failures but not depressed of all that but when they start compairing I really get depressed.I really don't mean that they don't think about me but most of the times my opinion doesn't matter for them . But I have raised above that and I am a bit more depressed whenever I think about my future that if I can't persue what I wan't ,then how can I live life like I wan't then finally let it go Once when everyone was with me was an illusion and finally you realise their is only you and nothing else in this world .That day I was stood still,I was stood still because somehow I got to know a bitter truth.The day I was stood still when I have nothing to do then to regret on my self .
A few poems written by me depicts only me and my conditions and I have written two of them here.
This poem depicts the behavior of others towards me
हर दर्द को सहन करना ज़माना सिखाता है,
लेकिन दर्द को ना दो ,यह बताना क्यों भूल जाता है!!!
Second one is close to my heart as it really depicts me and my behavior towards everyone now or can say after I stood still:
इस सक्सियत पर रुकसत होती हवाएं,
कुछ कहना चाहती है मुझसे,
ज़रा गौर करें तो सुनूं क्या अल्फ़ाज़ है इनके,
जोर जोर से कह रही है,
महसूस करो इन फिजाओं को,
क्या रखा है इन साजिश भरी निगाहों में
Once not everything matters but now every nonsense matters,even the failures were not important for me but now everything matters doesn't matter what it is.I am really in need ,to get my childhood back yet I am so much depressed then to be happy.Once their was someone who could even understand me but now I even don't have my own company or can say I am separated from my self.I wan't to restart my life so that I can overcome that everything that should not be done. "Well it is better to forgot all these things and look forward" is much easy then to do it. Once I was more above average or can say a bright student that have so much potential to do so much things but as the time passes,people changes and their views too,and start judging you differently and same thing happened with me as I had cleared exams of tough competition and failed in some too and that me regret so much and depression starts and you start killing yourself slowly slowly.
It starts with killing of happiness and the thing remains is smile without a reason just to avoid everyone and need your own company.
The day I was stood still was the day when I saw a huge crowd or can say first time to face competition.Yet I was not depressed,but was confident because I know my family is with me,they are with me in every good decision I will take specially in my career but I was wrong that I was not knowing what they wan't from me .At this point our views contradict and they and I stood still.
I have faced so much of failures but not depressed of all that but when they start compairing I really get depressed.I really don't mean that they don't think about me but most of the times my opinion doesn't matter for them . But I have raised above that and I am a bit more depressed whenever I think about my future that if I can't persue what I wan't ,then how can I live life like I wan't then finally let it go Once when everyone was with me was an illusion and finally you realise their is only you and nothing else in this world .That day I was stood still,I was stood still because somehow I got to know a bitter truth.The day I was stood still when I have nothing to do then to regret on my self .
A few poems written by me depicts only me and my conditions and I have written two of them here.
This poem depicts the behavior of others towards me
हर दर्द को सहन करना ज़माना सिखाता है,
लेकिन दर्द को ना दो ,यह बताना क्यों भूल जाता है!!!
Second one is close to my heart as it really depicts me and my behavior towards everyone now or can say after I stood still:
इस सक्सियत पर रुकसत होती हवाएं,
कुछ कहना चाहती है मुझसे,
ज़रा गौर करें तो सुनूं क्या अल्फ़ाज़ है इनके,
जोर जोर से कह रही है,
महसूस करो इन फिजाओं को,
क्या रखा है इन साजिश भरी निगाहों में
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